Suicide, Who really has the easy way out?

 

Suicidal behaviour is a complex phenomenon that usually occurs along a continuum, progressing from suicidal thoughts, to planning, to attempting suicide, and finally dying by suicide.

Source: International Association for Suicide Prevention

Death is probably the worst thing of mine to talk about, especially suicide. However with the whole idea of reports claiming that Peaches Geldof indeed died of a heroin overdose, I couldn’t help but not.

Suicide rates are currently at their peak within males in the UK since 2002 with females rates also dramatically increasing since 2007.

Being an extreme sensitive topic of mine, I cannot help but think suicide is most definitely the most selfish act a human being can do. (I do have a tiny if 1% leverage when branding suicide as the cowards way out)

How do you know this? Who gives you the right to brand troubled people like this?

Back in 2004 at my very first day of secondary school, I became a victim of suicide. I didn’t have suicidal thoughts myself however but my father, an intelligent and extremely troubled man decided to take his own life through the means of alcohol and cocktails of prescribed drugs. I was 11, I was unfamiliar with the idea of death. I’d had a somewhat sheltered life (well my Mum tried her absolute hardest to shelter me from my fathers issues) but nevertheless I was clueless as to why someone would do something like that. The anger I felt as a teen definitely built up over the years and instead of grieving my father, I was left with unanswered questions as an adolescent. Questions that still remain the topics of discussion when the lights turn off at night.

This is a picture of me and my Dad whilst on holiday in Malta when I was a baby. This is my favourite photo ever. He was such a hip Dad.

This is a picture of me and my Dad whilst on holiday in Malta when I was a baby. This is my favourite photo ever. He was such a hip Dad.

As a child, I thought my father, in my eyes had everything he wanted in life. Schooled in a private school, being brought up with rich parents, he had the social standing of a saint. However separated from my mother, he’d managed to get remarried, he had a healthy son (my little brother) and he had me. Although somewhat distant from him in his last few years on this planet, I’d hoped for that ‘family reunion’ one day.

Yanno the ones you see on Jeremy Kyle? I’d dreamed of that as a kid yet now I’d never ever ever ever step foot on that stage. I snigger. I just think I liked the idea of being on TV.

Anyway, as I’ve grown older into my age and after being introduced (to my dismay) to the horrible and plain evil things in this world, I cannot help but rethink all those things I thought as a teen.

A couple of years back, I found myself in an extremely bad place, I was clinically depressed. It made me think a whole lot about people with mental health issues.

Suicide, (un-relatable to my father), brings nothing but concern to me. I mean, I’ve wondered whether I’d ever get myself into that rut and end up in a gutter like my dad did. What happens to people for them to hit so low? I guess there’s not really an answer. I mean yes, I still firmly believe that it’s selfish, however isn’t it also selfish to let someone live such a troublesome life for the sake of your own happiness?

Would it have really been fair to my father to live a life he was so obviously unhappy with? What happens to his right?

The amounts of suicidal stories you see in the news these days are multiplying. I’m unsure whether this is due to my now realisation of it or just because it’s being highlighted more. However, what I do know is that there is definitely help out there. However I understand that telling someone that suffers with depression and anxiety that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, is like waiting for pigs to fly. It won’t do anything.

Since the passing of my father, I have suffered tremendously at the hands of his action. I will live the rest of my life unable to ask him the questions, unable to see him as I grow as a person and if anything grow old with him by my side. Remember that.

Although the whole concept of fairness, who really has the easy way out?

Let’s not see suicide as an alternative. It is not the way out and there is help out there. Cliche, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve seen it, you just need to too.

Some useful websites for those who need it.

Mind Mental Health Charity

Heads Above the Waves

 

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