SO I thought I was going to have possibly the best sleep ever tonight, but nope.
I got into my bed at merely 11pm, chucked Just My Luck on and fell straight to sleep like Fiona in Shrek did in that huge tower. (Basically like sleeping beauty minus the beauty)
ANYWAY irrelevant Sammy… Stay on course.
Then the worst thing happened…
In my dream I was there wearing my robes, with those overpriced hired stupid hats and I was just about to shake the Dean’s hand and there it was… NOTHING.
I’d worked so hard for absolutely NOTHING.
Then I woke up in one of those panic attack things and started contemplating my life at 1am.
SO now it’s hit me like a tonne of bricks.
What am I going to even do after university?
I’ve banged on about how I cannot wait to graduate, get my 9-5 job and adopt another 14 kittens and live happily ever after but it’s finally hit me that it’s not going to be that easy.
Nothing comes easy when you’re Sammy Jenkins and you have no idea what you want to do with your life.
I guess what scares me more is not succeeding, settling for the next best thing.
How am I going to afford life without a student loan to back me up? How am I going to cope with the fact it will no longer be socially acceptable for me to wake up at midday and be slightly late for my meetings?
How is my body going to cope with the rise in caffeine intake?
I genuinely feel sick at the thought.
I used to think that deciding whether you wanted to go to university or go straight into full-time employment was the hardest decision, I thought that up until this moment.
Graduating is one of the best accomplishments someone could have; but what happens next?
How do we prepare ourselves for the big, bad world that is in front of us?
How do you cope with the slight realisation that soon enough you’re going to have to be a grown up and actually start making something of yourself.
Cheap Tequila shots in Live Lounge aren’t going to help you now.
& I don’t like the thought of it.